Forking Paths and Identity Crisis

Benji and Reggie, just like Ruth and Lucille, give us examples of two siblings who, once joined at the hip, eventually fork off and follow their own paths. Benji marches more to the beat of his own drum while Reggie finds his place in society and likes to fit in. Personally I feel that this trope is own that many siblings can identify with, especially when they’re close in age. I have found myself in a similar situation with my own sister, where she has begun to religiously follow trends and mainstream culture in a pursuit of popularity, while I’ve taken a more soul-searching route and I strive to shamelessly be myself.

Even more so than my sister and I, my best friend and I embody the Benji and Reggie split. My best friend is also the only other Danville kid at Uni (until this year at least), so over the years we have shared many deeply personal, sleep-deprived conversations on the bus at 6am, and it’s hard not to grow extremely close when you spend 2-3 hours with someone every day. We’re more than best friends but not quite sibling-level, and we’ve been thick as thieves for 3 years. When we first started Uni we both fit into the typical Uni mindset of academia-focused lives built around homework and college. The two of us were practically one and the same. But over the past year I have begun to embrace the culture that comes with being a lower-class kid from Danville (which is very different from the experiences of the people I know here at Uni, no matter how odd that may sound), and she’s remained relatively the same.

I can liken this dynamic to Benji and Reggie, where Reggie begins to embrace his black culture, similar to how I’m embracing the culture I grew up in. Just like how Reggie’s cultural black side especially blossoms in Sag Harbor among kids in the same situation, I’m far more a product of my Danville upbringing when I’m around my Danville friends. In addition, Reggie’s involvement in black culture can be seen as a fraud because so much of black culture revolves around being on the street and as an upper-class kid with a summer beach house, Reggie isn’t exactly the definition of “street”. Similarly, in attending Uni and as a result of my mother pushing me to dream big, I have had many opportunities opened to me that are closed to my Danville friends. In this sense, I am also somewhat of a fraud since I have the upper hand over many of my friends. Although I can understand Reggie and Benji through my Danville analogy—I just don’t feel like I belong completely in either Uni or Danville, just like Reggie and Benji don’t entirely belong with street black people or white upper-class people. It’s a really tough and lonely position to be in, so you’re forced to either stay stuck in limbo like Benji or fully become the identity that is closest to you, like I’ve embraced Danville and Reggie has embraced his black culture.

Like Benji has become more involved in black culture as a result of Reggie, my friend has become less “Uni” as a result of me. She and I have taken my change as an opportunity for her to help guide me through the change while I teach her about what it means to be a lower-income Danville citizen. It’s fascinating to think that a book that at first glance is the complete opposite of my experience actually validates and embodies the struggles I have been facing over the last year. To bring this post to a close, I’ll just say that I’ve really enjoyed Sag Harbor and I’ve loved uncovering the relation I have to Benji and Reggie as the book progresses.

Spooks: Good or Bad?

            Throughout the novel Black Swan Green, Jason Taylor is entirely hyper-aware of the intricate social structure around him. From the beginning of the novel we see how he has carefully-crafted personas to fit different situations in his life, from spending time with his friend Dean to family time to hanging around the “cool kids”. For most of his thirteen years, playing carefully by middle-school society’s rules gets him barely above the “loser” slot among his school friends. But one day Jason decides to take a risk and winds up playing a prank on Mr. Blake, an old man that the kids dislike. Following his bravery, the cooler kids invite Jason into the “Spooks”, a secret society that guarantees its members friends and popularity. In class we briefly discussed the impact that this society would have on Jason, and I plan to explore this line of thought further.

            The Spooks could easily have an awful impact on Jason. He is already so wrapped up in the popularity game and so focused on following all the unspoken rules and impressing his peers, and being in the Spooks could make this much worse. Where Jason is at the beginning of the novel, not popular but also not at the lowest rank, he doesn’t have much attention on him and yet he is still consumed by making sure his persona lies within the bounds of the rules. It’s entirely possible that if Jason is already this wrapped up in playing by the rules, when he becomes popular and the spotlight turns on him he’ll become even more consumed by it and will lose everything that makes him Jason. We’ve realized that one of his best qualities, yet one of his biggest downfalls when it comes to popularity, is that he cares. Jason cares about what other guys think of him and cares about the people close to him. After being a part of the Spooks for not even half an hour, Jason’s morality is already tested. He is faced with the choice to either save his friend or save his new status, and Jason choses to save his friend. If he had chosen his status, being in the Spooks would have continued to challenge Jason’s morality and best qualities, and perhaps it would have changed him for the worse.

            Ultimately though, I think that being in the Spooks would be beneficial for Jason. Although the way he cares is one of his best qualities, he also tends to care too much. Jason cares far too much about what his peers think of him, and I believe that being in the Spooks could help him realize that popularity isn’t all it’s cracked up to be and that the way to get it isn’t by being safe and playing by the rules. I could imagine popularity becoming less of a priority to Jason and as a result he could become himself and stop being so afraid of what other people think of him.

            We’ll never know whether being a part of the Spooks would have been a good or bad thing for Jason, but it certainly could have gone either way. Despite giving up the secret society, Jason ended up becoming himself and learning not to care about what his peers think, so it really was for the best that he stuck with his morals and said to hell with the Spooks.

Embrace your Sylvie

After going through class discussion this week, I have decided to delve into my relation to the two sisters for this blog post. In initially reading Housekeeping, I easily related to Sylvie and Ruth and hated Lucille once she moved out. It wasn’t until class discussion where the general agreement seemed to be on the idea that Sylvie and Ruth are somewhat alien and Lucille is the relatable sister that I realized perhaps my point of view isn’t so common, and I found this incredibly interesting.

Robinson refers to Lucille as belonging to “the common persuasion” and it makes sense that, especially in a place like Uni, Lucille’s way of thinking is shared. The main difference between Lucille and Ruth is that Ruth doesn’t care about what other people think and lives entirely in the present, giving little to thought to the future, while Lucille plans for her future and cares very much about appearing respectable. At Uni, students tend to be very concerned for their future. They want to get into a good college, find a stable career, and make a ton of money. Students also tend to act very respectable, to refer to Mr. Sutton’s “Wheel of Respectability”, in order to set the stage for their ideal future. This dedication to the future and respectability is very much like Lucille, so it makes a lot of sense that most people in our class identify with her.

On the other hand, personally I’ve never even questioned who I relate the most to. That’s not to say that I’m exactly like Sylvie and Ruth—in fact, there are a ton of huge differences between them and me. While they lack emotion and are incredibly passive, I am an incredibly emotional person. Hell, I want to go into psychology. In addition I’m growing into a less passive and more assertive person, and I care more about people’s opinions of me and my future than Ruth and Sylvie do. In these ways, I am significantly different from the niece/aunt duo. However, I still can relate to them in many important factors. I have been raised by the emotional, less dreamy version of Sylvie through my mother, a free spirit who I could totally picture letting birds and leaves and nature into her house. As a result, my sisters and I have grown up as essentially less extreme versions of Lucille and Ruth. I have become a transient, barely caring what people think of me, living in the present and not worrying too much about the future, and kind of just doing what I want and living for experiences. I could very easily picture my mother and me going on the somewhat dangerous boat trip that Ruth and Sylvie did, simply for the adventure and on a whim.

Personally, I think that being a “millennial present” like Sylvie and eventually Ruth is the best way to go. Maybe not quite as far as they have, letting nature into their house and giving up emotions, but I can say that embracing their lack of caring about what other people think and simply living makes me happier. I’m far happier embracing my Sylvie than my Lucille, that’s for sure. I think everyone should give the transient way of life some consideration. After all, aren’t we just a blip in the timeline of the world?

Power to Esther

    Personally, I think that one of the bigger themes of The Bell Jar is power and its effects. Just think about the title. A bell jar essentially enables onlookers to take all power away from the trapped specimen. Onlookers have a lot of control over the specimen, and the only way the specimen can take back its control is through refusing to cooperate, either by becoming limp and refusing to engage or by fighting back. If you step back and think about the bigger picture it’s clear that Esther’s journey conforms very well to this metaphor.

                In New York, Esther has some semblance of power. She has taken control over her life in applying to the summer program, and all the options and freedom that a big city offers gives her power. Unfortunately, this power is ebbing away by the time the novel starts. Esther mentions that she feels like everything is happening around her and she’s just going from photoshoot to party to work to more events. I think the program’s obligations and extreme schedule have taken some of Esther’s power away from her. Mix in the expectations of becoming a perfect housewife and machine churning out baby after baby that only increase in the suburbs, and the world around Esther has far more power over her life than she does herself. Thus Esther resorts to refusing to engage (as I mentioned before) as a method to revive some of her power, which I think is a major factor causing her depression. She goes so far as to attempt suicide to feel like she actually has some control over her life. It’s not until she learns to fight back that Esther starts to get better.

                In giving Esther birth control and teaching her that sexual double standards are mere propaganda, Dr. Nolan gives Esther a means to fight back. When Esther finally has a choice as to whether or not she wants to follow the path of life that her gender is expected to, she recovers her power. And later, in having sex simply because she wants to, Esther takes back the power that was stolen from her by men and their sexual double standard. While there are clearly more factors at play in Esther’s depression, I think the power and control that she feels she does or doesn’t have over her own life has the biggest impact on her mental health, hence the title of the book.

The Ambiguity of Antolini

Even though we’ve moved on from this book (because this post is super late), I’d like to delve into the odd ending to the encounter between Holden and Mr. Antolini. This is such a strange interaction, and since we were busy talking about bigger things in class, I’ve decided to use this blog post to discuss the scene.

The main question that Salinger leaves ambiguous is whether or not there’s a history of sexual abuse between Antolini and Holden. In my opinion, both answers would be perfectly logical, but I’m leaning more towards the theory that Antolini has abused Holden in the past. Not only would this theory explain Holden’s frantic reaction to waking up to Antolini, but also the close relationship that they have. Speaking from what I’ve gathered about the general view of sexual abuse (aka don’t take it for total truth), child molesters often have a close relationship with their victims. There are many cases of coaches, teachers, etc. who formed a close relationship with a child and used the relationship to manipulate the child into enduring sexual abuse, which makes their relationship even closer. As Holden just calls Antolini up in the middle of the night, knows his wife well, and is invited to stay over, the two have a relationship that is far closer than your average teacher-student relationship. In addition, this theory could possibly explain Holden being stuck in childhood and purity. Perhaps Holden is jealous of and idolizes children because he sees his life as before the abuse and after the abuse, longs for the happiness and innocence that he had before the abuse, and thus finds comfort in kids around the age that he was before the abuse. He idolizes Phoebe and young Jane because he has experienced firsthand how fucked up adults are and Phoebe and young Jane represent the innocence and goodness of children. Finally, this theory could fit with the “catcher in the rye” thing that Holden talks about. Holden wants to be able to catch children and prevent them from being screwed up by the world, or falling off the edge. Since adults are the only corrupt beings, a makeshift-Neverland that is full of children who never grow up would be ideal for preserving a haven of innocence and goodness. The sexual abuse theory only strengthens this idea, because Holden sees himself as having been corrupted by an adult and wants to be able to save all the other children from enduring the same pain and corruption that he had to.

Now I could definitely be wrong. Holden’s rapidly deteriorating mental state could be the sole reason for his frantic outburst to waking up to Antolini. Even still, I think that because this encounter ends so ambiguously it’s worth diving into and looking at it from all sides.

Holden’s façade

In The Catcher in the Rye Holden clearly thinks that life is only a game for the “hot-shots” on the other side instead of him. Since he establishes himself as a reliable, authoritative narrator, our first instinct is to believe him. We’re inclined to agree that Holden doesn’t play into the game and that the game of life undercuts him because he’s not a “hotshot”. However, the more I learn and think about Holden’s actual character, the less I believe this is true.

Holden is the type of guy that likes to be world-weary and criticize everything. It makes him feel superior and wiser than his peers. In addition, he ostracizes himself. It seems that most people are too phoney for him to hang out with them, so he simply sticks to the people around him. Holden seems to think that the world ostracizes him because he’s different and “out of their league”, but in my opinion he uses the unjustness of this idea to pity himself and reinforce the idea that he’s superior. Holden’s sense of superiority clearly stems from insecurity, hence his self-deprecating jokes, but he masks it from the reader well. Keeping his superiority and outcastedness in mind, I address his comment about the world being a game.

When Holden thinks about the world as a game, he implies that this game does not apply to him because he’s not popular and loved, and thus life is harder for him. Holden sees these popular, rich people who take their privilege for granted and play by the rules, using their privilege and the game of life to propel themselves to even higher status. He believes that anyone who doesn’t fit in is undercut and left to endure a much harder and underprivileged life. But is Holden really underprivileged because he’s not a “hotshot”? Or are his demeanor and actions evidence of Holden exploiting his privilege to their limits? He gets kicked out of many schools and doesn’t care about his schools or his future. If he were truly underprivileged he wouldn’t have the privilege of not caring, because getting kicked out of school after school would condemn him to an awful future. Instead, since he comes from a place of wealth and power, Holden is able to play outside the rules of society without much worry towards his future. So Holden is clearly not “suffering” in the slightest because of the game of life. In addition, it is Holden’s choice to be an outcast. He chose to put up this cynical, distasteful façade that turns people off and to operate outside the rules.

Perhaps Holden actually doesn’t play into the game of life, but this is entirely his own choice and he doesn’t suffer because of it, although he makes it sound like his life is much harder. Personally I think that Holden’s claim was a way for him to pity himself and to get the readers to pity him as well. Although, let’s be real, I may just be biased due to my dislike of Holden. Thoughts?

Blog Post 1

A Portrait of an Artist as a Young Man by James Joyce focuses primarily on Stephen as he starts finding all the different shades of grey in his previously black-and-white life. This theme manifests in his actions, political views, and religion, to name a few examples. Personally, I find Stephen’s development in his relationships and social ability to be one of the most interesting parts of the book so far.

When we first meet Stephen at Clonglowes he is clearly very socially inept. He views other people as black and white, either being “mean” or “nice”. For example, Stephen frankly comments on multiple occasions that it was “not nice” of Wells to have pushed him into the sewage pile. He holds no contempt or anger and is simply aware of the meanness of the act. In addition, later Wells asks Stephen whether or not he kisses his mother before bedtime. Stephen says he does, and then he doesn’t, and finds both answers to be the wrong answer when the boys laugh and jeer each time. He finds himself very confused, unable to find the right answer if both the answers he gave were wrong. Again showing his black and white view of the world, Stephen cannot comprehend the idea that there are more complexities behind a simple yes or no question and his lack of understanding troubles him.

Sections later, when Stephen is at his new school, we see a severe development in his understanding of the shades of grey in people and social encounters. Stephen actually has friends at his new school. At Clonglowes the best he could hope for was being a part of the crowd. Whereas younger Stephen was very literal and serious, we see older Stephen actually joking around with his friends, showing that he has learned the shades of grey we know as sarcasm and humor. In addition, it seems Stephen doesn’t actually like his friends that much. Here we can see how he has learned to manipulate people into thinking he likes them in order to gain companionship, a skill he did not have at Clonglowes. Finally, Stephen now understands what to say and what not to say. In arguing about poetry, Stephen instantly recognizes his mistake when he says that Byron is the best poet. Contrast this understanding with younger Stephen’s fixation on the simplicity of the right answer and lack of comprehension of what lies between the lines. Younger Stephen would not have been able to understand why he shouldn’t just be honest and contribute his commentary to the conversation.

Overall, I can see Stephen’s coming of age most clearly in his development socially and increasing awareness of the complexities of people. I can also relate to his journey as I went from a young and awkward, far-too-quiet homeschooler to a high schooler who is fascinated by other people and social encounters and likes to say she understands both pretty well. I am very intrigued and interested in seeing how Stephen’s social aptitude develops as the book continues.