Forking Paths and Identity Crisis

Benji and Reggie, just like Ruth and Lucille, give us examples of two siblings who, once joined at the hip, eventually fork off and follow their own paths. Benji marches more to the beat of his own drum while Reggie finds his place in society and likes to fit in. Personally I feel that this trope is own that many siblings can identify with, especially when they’re close in age. I have found myself in a similar situation with my own sister, where she has begun to religiously follow trends and mainstream culture in a pursuit of popularity, while I’ve taken a more soul-searching route and I strive to shamelessly be myself.

Even more so than my sister and I, my best friend and I embody the Benji and Reggie split. My best friend is also the only other Danville kid at Uni (until this year at least), so over the years we have shared many deeply personal, sleep-deprived conversations on the bus at 6am, and it’s hard not to grow extremely close when you spend 2-3 hours with someone every day. We’re more than best friends but not quite sibling-level, and we’ve been thick as thieves for 3 years. When we first started Uni we both fit into the typical Uni mindset of academia-focused lives built around homework and college. The two of us were practically one and the same. But over the past year I have begun to embrace the culture that comes with being a lower-class kid from Danville (which is very different from the experiences of the people I know here at Uni, no matter how odd that may sound), and she’s remained relatively the same.

I can liken this dynamic to Benji and Reggie, where Reggie begins to embrace his black culture, similar to how I’m embracing the culture I grew up in. Just like how Reggie’s cultural black side especially blossoms in Sag Harbor among kids in the same situation, I’m far more a product of my Danville upbringing when I’m around my Danville friends. In addition, Reggie’s involvement in black culture can be seen as a fraud because so much of black culture revolves around being on the street and as an upper-class kid with a summer beach house, Reggie isn’t exactly the definition of “street”. Similarly, in attending Uni and as a result of my mother pushing me to dream big, I have had many opportunities opened to me that are closed to my Danville friends. In this sense, I am also somewhat of a fraud since I have the upper hand over many of my friends. Although I can understand Reggie and Benji through my Danville analogy—I just don’t feel like I belong completely in either Uni or Danville, just like Reggie and Benji don’t entirely belong with street black people or white upper-class people. It’s a really tough and lonely position to be in, so you’re forced to either stay stuck in limbo like Benji or fully become the identity that is closest to you, like I’ve embraced Danville and Reggie has embraced his black culture.

Like Benji has become more involved in black culture as a result of Reggie, my friend has become less “Uni” as a result of me. She and I have taken my change as an opportunity for her to help guide me through the change while I teach her about what it means to be a lower-income Danville citizen. It’s fascinating to think that a book that at first glance is the complete opposite of my experience actually validates and embodies the struggles I have been facing over the last year. To bring this post to a close, I’ll just say that I’ve really enjoyed Sag Harbor and I’ve loved uncovering the relation I have to Benji and Reggie as the book progresses.